Soarele Meu

"Soarele Meu" means "My Sun" in Romanian.
I must have been around 16-17 when this cute boy I used to hold hands with around the park in my little home town in Romania, with eyes like "unripe furniture", broke up with me! Of course I had to let it all out in a song starting with "Hey baby I've been through this 10 000 times before, it won't even give me the shivers...". And then I go on telling him that whether or not I hurt now, the world is far from over, actually I am the one feeling sorry for him, and the sun will eventually rise and shine in my life again!
Typical teenager bravado (at least about the part with 10 000 times before), but fast forward the same amount of years and I find myself in my early thirties, ending another - this time much more serious and painful - relationship, and looking for consolation inside myself, for words and sounds to put in a liberating song!
And so I remember this one - I listen, and it's perfect, it lists up minutely all my feelings, lets my frustrations play out while I mock his incapacity to grasp me and the whole situation, and show myself stronger and kinder and wiser than I actually am, and it feels damn good, so then I can secretly wipe off all my tears repeating "My sun will rise again!", with a hopeful and confident smile till I believe it! (Are we really never evolving past the emotional maturity of 17...?)

That felt so positive that I re-recorded the song and gave it a little Youtube video featuring my at-the-time best friend, teddybear Shawn (featured above).

So why did I resurect this song - again - for my next album?

Because it's good vibes! It's smile, and faith in oneself despite all imperfections, and it's laughing in the face of disappointment and failure!

Because it's hope!

Because the rhythm section musicians who played it for the album were so awesome, with a groove so laid back and almost happily jumping at the same time!

And also because people I care about have told me to do it!

To back it all up, I recently got a rather long message from a listener in Romania who had his own story regarding this song: He's a taxi driver, who enjoys the social part of his job as well, and tries to connect to the people he drives around, and maybe bring some comfort in their lives. At some point a young lady got in, who was totally down and in tears, she had just broken up with her boyfriend! By some coincidence, my song comes up on the radio and the taxi driver, apparently familiar with its message already, turns it up and tells her only: "Please wipe your tears and listen to this". By the end of the song she could indeed smile and wipe her tears!

That's why this revitalizing comeback of "Soarele Meu" on this very Winter Solstice day! Because we do gravitate around the sun, we depend on it, and luckily it keeps rising up every day for all of us!


hey baby am mai trecut prin asta
de inca zece mii de ori,
n-ai sa ma faci sa te rog si sa pling
n-am sa simt nici macar fiori.

si ce daca ne-am despartit
sa stii ca lumea nu s-a sfirsit.
o sa ma doara, n-o sa ma doara,
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara

soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara

n-ai crezut in vorbele mele,
nu m-ai cunoscut indeajuns,
i-ai ascultat pe ei si iata,
iata acum unde s-a ajuns...

desi nu ma crezi imi pare rau de tine
si daca asta iti face mai bine
afla ca nu esti nici primul, nici ultimul
baiat care sa plinga dupa mine.

soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara
soarele meu din nou o sa rasara


released December 22, 2019
Recorded at Bardo Music Studios
Mixed by Scud Noonan
Vocals and guitars Ana Patan
Bass Jonas Hellborg
Drums Zoltan Csörsz
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